A very trendy word circulating around is “Empath”. I've noticed that people who lay claim to the label of Empath are usually people who are emotionally overwhelmed, people pleasers who are unable to set boundaries. Are you really an empath or are you just an emotional spaz who need to learn some communication skills?
Let me help you determine which is which.
What Is An Empath?
The word Empath comes from the word "empathy", which means that one has the ability to understand and share in the experiences and feelings of another. Some people are so naturally empathetic that they can literally feel another person's physical pains.
And then there are those who CLAIM to be an Empath. They brag about it and drop that title like a name-dropping-idolizing-wannabe-superstar. They complain-brag about not being about to go into crowds because of "all of the toxic people will give me a headache for days'.
I am not one to judge, but I will here. Even if you are truly an empath The Creator did not send you to this planet loaded with people and NOT give you the capacity to deal with people.
A metaphoric example: every organ in your body does it’s thing while surrounded by other organs. The brain, the most powerful and most sensitive organ of them all, has chemicals surrounding it so that it’s protected but it still talks to the other organs! It’s not sitting up there hating on the pituitary gland or wishing the eyes would just go away.
“Omg, would you please get out of my space! Go down there with the intestines or something! Geesh you’re always looking! I can’t take this!”
Technically the eyes aren’t in the brain space but you get my point; every organ in the body work together with the other organs.
Now back to non-judgment:
An Empath tends to be a great listener and/or a healer; that means you’re gifted to deal with people. If you’re irritated by people then you’re irritated by your gift, which means you’ve missed some essential lessons in life and you're not fully functioning as YOU.
Perhaps deep within you recognize that you’re an Empath but because you haven’t learned boundaries, you don’t know Self, you lack communication skills and you have self-esteem issues your Empathy gift to the world is wasted
So how do you know if you’re an Empath vs. if you’re just an emotional spaz?
CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS AND INTIMACY STRESSES YOU OUT
True Empath- Some Empaths have difficulty with close relationships. Too much talking, and physical touching can put you off balance and yet when you think about explaining that to your partner you feel distressed about hurting their feelings.
A solution for the Empath - Set boundaries; for example, don’t date feely people who like a lot of physical touch or high-strung people who like a lot of conversation.
The Emotional Spaz- You don’t like sex. You’re ok being touched but when it’s done in a “particular way” you lose it emotionally. For some the thought of committing makes you hyperventilate. Other “Empaths” are paranoid and overly protective of their children being sexually abused.
A solution for the Emotional Spaz- get counseling. You may have repressed sexual abuse memories and it’s showing up in your relationships.
YOU’RE VERY INTUITIVE
True Empath - can easily pick up on subtle cues in their environment or in a person. This helps them determine how to interact. Sometimes you come across as flighty.
A solution for the Intuitive Empath- You don’t owe anyone an explanation about the decisions you make. Trust your intuition and keep it moving. Yet there are times when giving an explanation helps other understand how to trust their own intuition.
The Emotional Spaz- Make judgments on people and situations based on limited experiences and call it "intuition". You become very angry that people don’t change according to your predictions. On the rare occasion that your intuitive hit comes to pass you make a point of loudly riding the “I told you so” horse throughout the town.
Solution for the Emotional Spaz- sit down somewhere please. Learn to keep your opinions to yourself.
Solution for the Emotional spaz-If you’re more worried and stressed about their problem then they are, you’re wasting your time. People don’t make change until they are ready.
YOU MAY BE VERY SENSITIVE TO SOUNDS, SMELLS OR SENSATIONS
True Empaths-Some Empaths are sensitive to emotions; some are sensitive to people’s physical pains and some are sensitive to the world around them. These Empaths are strongly affected by fragrances and odors, are affected by jarring sounds or are immediately affected by certain textures in clothing and foods.
A solution for the Empath -recognize your triggers and set your boundaries.
The Emotional Spaz- may be sensitive but you tend to have an EXTREME response as a way of making yourself appear special. You complain, whine and/or take it as a personal sign of disrespect if you encounter the thing that you’re sensitive to. “I don’t understand why anyone would even want to use mayonnaise! There should be a law against using it.” Those were actual words uttered by my sister-in-law.
Solution for the Emotional Spaz -B vitamins baby! It will help settle your nerves. And when you’re trying to get people to recognize that THEY are too loud, or too much or their cologne is too strong, recognize that possibly, maybe, perhaps it’s YOU who are too much.
Empath is a true personality trait that helps to heal the world. Those who have the traits of an Empathy are true blessings and should take care to nurture themselves and honor their boundaries. Others, who use the word Empath as a badge of honor displaying how spiritual they are, are obviously emotionally spastic drama kings and queens and should take some emotional intelligence classes.
I hope my bit of advice helped you see yourself.